Banana: Part 1
The date is January 19th, 1966, and at the Banana Enterprises factory in Lake Geneva, two workers make firearms.
“This sucks, man,” the first worker says.
“What? Why?” the second worker says. “I love guns, and making them too!”
“No, I don’t have anything against guns, but the pay is bad, the work conditions are bad, and everything’s bad,” says the first worker. “In fact, this was supposed to be a banana plantation. Why are we making guns?”
“All right, but don’t be too loud. We got to get back to work. We can’t let the boss hear about this…”
The boss walks in. “Well, well, well,” he says. “It’s Jerry and Nathan. The two worst workers that we have. I hear that you two are slacking off and talking.”
“Uhh, no, no, sir,” the first worker, Jerry, says. “We would never say anything against you behind your back.”
“That’s what I thought,” says the boss. “However, you seem to have forgotten that this is a very open room. I’ve been listening to you the whole time. I just got closer and heard what you guys were saying.”
“So sorry, sir,” says Nathan. “It was an accident. We promise that we will never talk about you like that again.”
“Yeah, you better not,” the boss says. “My whip thinks that you should get punished for what you’ve done.” The boss goes over and hits Jerry in his face with his whip.
“Uh, sir? I think I’ve learned my lesson now,” says Nathan. “I actually don’t think I will be needing any corrective action from the whip,” he says, backing away. “I’ll be getting back to work, sir.”
“The whip leaves no mercy for those in disobedience,” says the boss, hitting Nathan in his face with his whip. “Oh, and by the way, Nathan, you’re fired, so go pack up your things and get the heck out of here.”
“What?” exclaims Nathan. “You can’t fire me! I quit!”
“I guess it doesn’t matter whether you get fired or you quit, because I’m actually going to move you. You’re going to be working at the banana farm now, for absolutely zero pay.
“You’re going to be working up to 18 hours a day, as long as I want you to work. You understand me? All right. Now come on, you have to be at the farm in 10 minutes, or else…”
Nathan sprints out of the room.
“Why are you still here, Jerry? Your 14 hour shift just ended. You can go home now,” the boss says.
“Really? No way! I can be done for the day!” says Jerry.
“Actually, I want you to go home and make me a seven-course meal, with three appetizers and 15 drinks. You have one hour. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir!” says Jerry.
Nathan is standing in the banana farm, watering the banana trees. “Wow, look at all of these banana trees,” he says in awe of the large plantation. Of the large city of Lake Geneva, the plantation takes up almost a quarter of it. Nathan’s lifelong dream was to work at the banana farm, but being enslaved and forced to work by the boss wasn’t exactly part of it. “I can’t believe they need this many bananas,” he remarks. “Surely they can’t be that good, right? There’s one just hanging right there. I think I’m going to take this low-hanging fruit.”
Nathan takes the banana. “Screw you, banana farm,” he says, and dropkicks the banana. It goes flying in the air and lands in one of the pipes on top of the factory.
Inside the factory, the banana falls through the interlocking system of pipes and eventually comes out in a hidden room inside the factory, filled with nuclear waste, the remnants of the illegal fuel used to power the plantation operation. The banana falls into one of the barrels of the waste, and slowly sinks inside the fluid.
“What the heck? Something just fell into the toxic waste,” says one of the workers. “I better set off the alarm.” He presses a button on the wall and an alarm blares throughout the whole factory.
“Bryce, what are you doing, man?” the boss says.
“Sir, something just fell from the ceiling and landed in that toxic waste. I don’t know what’s going on,” Bryce says.
“Are you serious? My shift is supposed to be over!” the boss says. “I have an after party to attend, and an after party for that after party!”
“What party do you even need two after parties for?” Bryce asks.
“You know, quite a bit ago, I ruined the Lake Geneva mayoral election and I got to become the mayor,” says the boss. “So that’s what we’re celebrating. I’ve already got plans to ruin the city, take all of their money, and move to a private island!”
“That’s cool,” says Bryce. “Anyways, I gotta go down there and see what fell in. You know what that toxic waste can do…”
Bryce walks down to the container of toxic waste. “How am I supposed to check it and see what’s inside?” he says. “I can’t go in, because I’m going to die, so do I just wait this out?”
A ceiling tile falls from the ceiling and sends Bryce flying. Jean and Dave Grace, the superheroes that defend the city of Lake Geneva, fly down from the ceiling and hover over the vat of toxic waste.
“Aha! What kind of illegal operation is going on here?” exclaims Dave.
“What? Jean and Dave, the League of Grace? How did you get here?” asks the boss.
“Hello, Mayor,” says Dave. “Or, as you like to call yourself, Dr. Mayor. Even though your real name is Michael. Anyways, ever since you rigged that election in 1959 to get yourself a spot in the government, we’ve been following you and tracking down everything you’ve been doing, because we’ve been suspicious of you. And now we’ve found you. These illegal operations will not go on any longer.”
“Oh, well, that’s perfect timing,” says Dr. Mayor. “I was just about to leave this dump and move to my own private island with all the money I stole from the city’s funds. So I guess you guys will just have to catch me…”
Dave picks up Dr. Mayor and holds him over the pit of radioactive waste. “Wait! It was a joke! Stop! Put me down!” he says, wriggling and trying to escape.
“Jean, get the 2x4, and let’s finish this guy off,” says Dave. Jean hits Dr. Mayor across the head with the board that fell from the ceiling.
“Stop, guys! Are you trying to kill me or something?” says Dr. Mayor.
“The city discovered your crimes,” says Dave. “There’s a warrant up for your arrest. And you can’t commit any more crimes if you’re dead. Jean, finish him.” Jean swings the board, and Dave drops Dr. Mayor, knocking him right into the radioactive waste.
“We got him, Dave,” says Jean. “There’s no way he could be alive in that radioactive waste. But did we really have to kill him? Our orders said to bring him in alive if possible.”
“I did what I had to do,” says Dave. “Now let’s get out of here before anyone shows up.” Jean and Dave fly out of the hole on the roof.
After a couple minutes, the banana that fell into the radioactive waste sticks a hand out of the vial of nuclear waste and pulls himself up. The banana has grown to be as tall as a human, with arms and legs, a face, and an evil smile. He pulls himself out of the radioactive waste, and as the waste drains out of him, his yellow peel shines in the light from the hole in the factory roof.
“Wow, it sure feels great to be alive,” says the banana. “I can talk. Wait, how can I talk? How do I know what’s going on?” ponders the banana. After a minute of thinking, Nathan walks into the room.
“Wow, get a load of this, everyone! It’s a talking banana! Now I’ve seen everything,” Nathan says. “I better get home. I think I’m really drunk.”
“Who the heck are you?” says the banana. “Also, what the heck are you?”
“I’m a human,” says Nathan. “And I dropkicked a banana from a farm nearby and it landed in this pile of nuclear waste, which is probably why you’re alive now.”
“So, does that mean you’re my leader now? Tell me about yourself,” says the banana.
“I guess I am your leader now,” says Nathan. “First of all, my name is Nathan,” he says. “I’m a factory worker here. I get paid nothing.”
“What’s a name?” says the banana. “I want a name. How about Dr. Banana? I have a… feeling inside of me that’s telling me to add a Dr. to the start of what I am.”
“Sounds good,” says Nathan.
“So anyways, a guy in a top hat and a suit fell into this nuclear waste. Should that be a concern?” asked Dr. Banana.
“That’s my boss,” says Nathan. “He owned this factory. He’s a horrible person.”
“Somehow, I remember your boss’s plans to move to a private island,” says Dr. Banana. “Should we follow through on his final plan?”
“Sure, yeah,” says Nathan. “I want to get out of this dumb place. So how about we get ready and get moving?”
“All right! First thing tomorrow!” says Dr. Banana.
In an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Lake Geneva, Jean and Dave sit inside of their secret base, consisting of some furniture and a radio, with a sign above reading “League of Grace”, for that was the last name of the married couple, Jean and Dave Grace.
“Well, that just happened,” says Jean.
“Don’t worry, Jean. You don’t need to feel guilty for killing the mayor,” says Dave. “He deserved it for all of the bad things he done. Now all of his workers - or slaves, more like - are free.”
“I’m more concerned about this murder tarnishing our legacy,” says Jean. “We’re supposed to save people, not kill them.”
“I don’t think anyone actually knows that we killed him either way! Well, let’s listen to the news and see if there’s any news. It’s almost 9:00,” says Dave as he turns on the radio.
“Hello, everyone, and welcome to the 9:01 News! I’m your host, Bart Stafford, and today we have some breaking news!
“The mayor of Lake Geneva was assassinated, and we know who did it! Eyewitness accounts say that Dave and Jean of the League of Grace killed the mayor after they found out he rigged the election, ran an illegal factory on the outskirts of the city, and stole money from the city’s funds to fund him moving to a private island.
“Nobody is very happy about the fact that the mayor was killed. Most people in the city wanted him to have a fair trial and be removed from his position. After a popular vote by the city, we have an arrest warrant for Jean and Dave for a charge of third degree murder.”
“Well, the jig is up,” says Jean. “I told you we needed to bring him back alive! Let’s get out of here!”
Jean and Dave hop into their car - a sports car with GRACE painted on the side - and drive out of the warehouse.
“This road is straight for a couple miles, so we have enough room to put our superhero car into flight mode and take off. We should move to an island in the middle of the ocean so nobody catches us,” says Dave.
“That sounds fine,” says Jean. The rocket boosters at the back of the car pop up and wings pop out of the doors, and the car takes off and flies towards the Atlantic Ocean.
At the Riviera by the edge of Lake Geneva, a boat is docked, christened the S. S. Banana. Dr. Banana and the workers of the factory are standing by the boat, carrying supplies taken from the Banana Enterprises factory.
“Alright, everyone get on the boat,” Dr. Banana says. “We’re leaving within 10 minutes, no excuses. You have to be on the boat or you’re getting left behind.” All of the workers pile onto the boat. As Dr. Banana gets in, he speaks to the crowd of workers.
“Alright, everybody. We’re going to move the Banana Enterprises business to an island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. We’ll sail through Lake Geneva and then take a canal to Lake Michigan, and from there we’ll take a canal to some of the other lakes, and then to the Atlantic Ocean.
“Are we ready, everybody? Island, here we come!” The boat takes off, and sails off into the sunset.
END OF PART 1